Friday, August 12, 2011

I Hate You Blogfest

Today is the I Hate You Blogfest hosted by Tessa’s Blurb

My entry is a short excerpt from my book, The Circle of Friends, Book II…Sarah
(This is from an edited and published piece, so not looking for a critique.) 

Sarah’s father joined them in the dining room. “Are you taking the rest of your things with you today?”

Sarah hesitated and shot him a wary look. “I don’t think there’s enough room in Matt’s car.”

“I’d like to get someone in soon to repaint and cover all the holes you left in the walls,” John said firmly.

She sighed and turned anxiously to Matt. He shrugged.

“Let’s see what we can fit in,” he said. He didn’t want to aggravate her father.
Her mother told them where to find empty boxes in the garage. There weren’t many items in her bedroom, but it was probably more than they could take today. Sarah scanned her room and dropped the boxes on the floor. Pulling out a dresser drawer, she began wrapping clothes around her breakables. Matt followed suit and they quietly filled the boxes.

He sensed Sarah’s agitation with her father for insisting they complete this task today. Thankfully, Matt’s bedroom still sat intact and even Mark’s room still showed signs of his brother’s occupancy. John seemed eager to have all traces of his daughter removed from his house, though. Matt wondered if Sarah moving in with him had influenced her father’s decision. He’d not intended to compounded the problems between father and daughter.

By the time they began filling the last container, three boxes waited in the hallway. Matt wanted to make sure all four would fit in his car before they proceeded any further. He carried the largest box to his car and slid it into the trunk. The second box fit perfectly beside the first, and when he returned, Sarah set the last one in the hallway. She nodded solemnly as he picked up the third box.

When he returned for the final box, Matt heard angry voices drifting out into the hallway. He approached the doorway with caution and paused to catch the conversation.

“Sarah, I want everything out of here so I can hire a painter,” John said in his firmest tone. “I’m tired of this room looking like a damned dungeon!”

“Well, how about if I just cram everything in the closet?” Sarah replied. “Then you can do whatever you want with my room!”

Matt heard his fiancé tossing things into her closet. He quietly picked up the last box, hoping to avoid a confrontation with Sarah’s father.

“I cannot wait until you have children of your own,” her father said in a low voice.

“Well, too bad, ‘cus that’s never gonna happen!” cried Sarah.

Her words echoed coldly and decisively down the hall, leaving no room for consideration. It solidified a recent discussion regarding children. Matt sighed and turned to leave, unable to listen any longer.

“You’re not mature enough to handle the responsibility!” John replied.

A loud crash startled Matt. He hesitated at the end of the hallway, torn between retreating from the unpleasant scene and returning to insure Sarah’s safety. Her hysterical voice reached his ears and his fiancé‘s response scared him even more.

“What do you want from me?” screamed Sarah. “What am I doing wrong? My grades are perfect, I’ve never been in trouble, I’m not pregnant and I’m marrying a really decent guy! What is it you hate about my life? What is it about me that you hate so damned much?”

Visit Tessa’s Blurb for other participants and a list of prizes! I also have a post today at The Gatekeeper on speaking and writer/author tips!


  1. Enjoyed the read , sounds like a good blogfest.


  2. Interesting blogfest! Great excerpt, Diane. :)

  3. Wow, I couldn't imagine any reason why I'd kick my son out of the house like that. Now I want to know the reasons behind so much interesting.

  4. Thank you, Yvonne and Elizabeth.

    Clarissa, it's one of the most emotional aspects of that book.

  5. Oooo, loved the excerpt, Diane! Cool blogfest too.

  6. Wow! You got my attention for sure.

  7. WOW, even with bad eyes that left an impression. Wonderful entry!
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  8. I'm with Clarissa, I really want to know why there is so much hatred between John and Sarah.

  9. Wow. Great scene! Such tension.

  10. I'm also interested to find out what it is that's causing her dad to act this way. I feel like you cut us off too soon! :)

  11. A fun excerpt, with a situation almost guarranteed to raise tempers.

  12. Amalia, there was some door slamming, followed by awkwardness.

    Thank you, everybody!

  13. GAH! No fair, cliffhanger!!!

    That's a fantastic scene!! Guess what... your book just landed on my to-buy list.... ; P

    Thank you for sharing that with us for my blogfest!


    ps. pop in on friday next to see who won what book!

  14. I agree with everyone else. I'm intrigued to know Sarah and John's history, why Matt seems so wimpy, and more. Great piece.

  15. A very taut scene...thanks for sharing it with us. Makes me want to read the book!

  16. Thank you, Tessa!

    Robyn, Matt is not a confrontational kind of guy.

  17. Thanks for joining in the blogfest and sharing the piece.

    Not a critique, just a comment - my favorite bit was when Sarah and Dad were arguing about her having children.

    If you get a chance, check out a fellow writer's zombie story and help me make him wear an embarrassing shirt next year! It's the ultimate grudge match between social media and the zombies. Details are here:

  18. A loud crash startled Matt. He hesitated at the end of the hallway, torn between retreating from the unpleasant scene and returning to insure Sarah’s safety.

    I like this section - I don't find Matt wimpy here - if you haven't grown up in a house full of strife, this is a surreal moment.

  19. I loved the way the scene ended. It made me want to read more!

  20. Lot of deeply rooted emotions here. Well portrayed parent/child conflict. Seems an interesting read. Thanks for sharing your work here.


  21. Family drama is so compelling! Really good excerpt - well done! :)