Innocence

While being naive can have its downside, there is something to be said about pure innocence.

My husband tells me that my most endearing (non-physical) feature is my child-like innocence and enthusiasm. He says it livens up every situation and makes life fun. The main character in my first book possessed those qualities, too.

Sometimes I worry that I am losing that. What happens when if we adopt - will I become a responsible 'mom', or will I simply have someone new to bounce off? I hope the latter! But it is more in the day to day rituals that I must remember my true self.

Remember that life is still a roller coaster - one with lots of drops, twists & turns. And I'll be screaming with delight the whole time!

Relationships

Some people enter our lives and leave almost instantly. Others stay, and forge such an impression on our heart and soul, we are changed forever.
- author unknown

Here's to all the people who have made a difference in my life! Thanks!

Perfection

I used to be a bit of a perfectionist.

I say used to.

Despite everything we are taught in school, there is no such thing as perfection. Only math could be considered pure, but then again, there's more than one route to any answer! For everything else, yo can do it over and over again and still not be satisfied that it's perfect.

The solution? Don't worry about perfection - just do your best.

I found it much less stressful to put forth a 100% effort and do my very best than to make myself crazy trying for perfection. Besides, perfectionists annoy people, because they're looking for perfection and can't give praise for effort.

And I think every noble first-rate effort deserves recognition!


Learn the difference between the hopeless pursuit of perfection and the satisfying seeking of excellence. - Dr. Kevin Leman

Calling

After one year of doing what I do as an author & speaker, traveling the East coast, meeting people, doing interviews, and continously plowing forward despite the obstacles, I can safely say - I have found my calling!


True happiness and joy is the pursuit of your dream - your purpose - when you choose the path that's right for you. - Bruce Garrabrandt

Back to the Love Languages

Finishing off with the last three.

Gifts - this is someone who enjoys giving and receiving. And it doesn't have to be something big. A simple card, a bagel from the shop, one flower - those all count big time. A person whose love language is gifts will go nuts everytime you give them something or leave a little something for them to find later. This makes them feel loved - and by giving gifts to you, that is how they express love.

Acts of Service - just as it implies. It is not 'giving' something, but 'doing' something for someone. Like washing someone's car, cleaning the house, fixing a leak in a pipe - those are all loving acts of service. So is getting the car door for a woman or having a great meal prepared when a man comes home.

Quality Time - I've been over this one before, because it's the one I struggle with! Quality time is sharing moments together, either playing a game, going to an event, or just sitting and talking. It helps if the moment is very interactive, but even curled up together on the couch watching a movie can mean a lot to someone who needs quality time. They enjoy the presence of others.

Now the real trick - what love language do the people you care about speak?


If you express an act of love that is designed for the other person's benefit or pleasure, it is simply a choice. Gary Chapman "The Five Love Languages"

Out of the Comfort Zone

Quick break from the five love languages to talk about comfort zones!

I recently had to step out and do something beyond my comfort zone. Even after all of the media and public events I have done, when you get out of practice or do something a little differently, it can be scary. Fortunately, my nervous energy translated to enthusiastic energy and worked to my advantage. Not only did I accomplish what I wanted, but several new opportunities to expand even further presented themselves as a result!

New things are always a little frightening, but if you just do it, the boost in confidence and ensuing rewards with be well worth the effort!


The tendency of human nature is to enslave us to our past fears, failures and problems, rather than to launch out to new opportunities. - Pat Mesiti "Opportunity Knocks"

Love Languages - Physical Touch

Now, before everyone gets excited, physical touch does not just mean sex - although that's a good place to start!

If you know someone who is very touchy-feely, their love language is probably physical touch. It is the hand on the shoulder, the comforting hug and the warm handshake. For that person, touching is a powerful way to communicate and as important as words. A touch communicates acceptance, understanding and of course, love.

A person can have a primary and secondary love language, sometimes one they give and one they receive.

Knowing someone's love language, whether it be your own or not, can assist you in connecting with them in a big way.

Everyone benefits from physical touch, but for those of us with that love language, it's as important as air!

So - who have you hugged today?


Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. - Gary Chapman "The Five Love Languages"

Five Love Languages - Words of Afirmation

I talk about love languages all the time. A love language is how one expresses affection, be it love towards the opposite sex, love to a friend, love to a child, etc. It is also how an individual likes to have affection returned. There are five - Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Gifts. The first two are easy for me to describe - they are my love language.

Words of affirmation is just that - the desire to hear affection verbally expressed, through compliments, praise and kind words. The phrase "I love you"goes a long way with a person of this love language. So do any encouraging words. While self-image should never be taken from the approval of others, this love language needs that approval to some extent. Without that kind of reassurance, they feel unloved.

A fifth of the people out there need verbal love & support. Have you spoken this love language today?


When we receive afirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate. Gary Chapman "The Five Love Languages"

Love

Watched some friends get married today - actually, was the photographer for their wedding. Guess it made me think of this subject. The couple was just so in love, even after over four years of being together. That's when you know it's love - when you can get past the "in love" stage and still like each other!

People think the 'opposites attract' means that he likes rock, she likes classic; he likes sports, she like reality TV, etc. NO! Opposites attracting means different personalities that actually compliment one another. I mean, you have to have something in common! When lust wears off, you have to still like that person. Opposites attracting means that while your personalities are different - he's introverted, she's extroverted, he's organized, she's not - that is actually a good thing, because where one is weak the other is strong. Your pairing basically forms a whole person.

Now, this does mean you'll be doing a few things you don't like - but then again, that means it's love!


When an action doesn't come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love. - Gary Chapman "The Five Love Languages"

Friends

Today has been an amazing day!

I put a call out, asking for the assistance of friends, and it was incredible to see who responded. Not surprisingly, these are the same people who would read my novels - considerate, thoughtful, honest friends. And every single one of them was appreciated! Their kind gesture mattered to me.

Which is ironic, because my ultimate goal is to matter to them!


Love is to be fortified by many friendships. To love, and be loved, is the greatest happiness of existance. - Sydney Smith

Happy music

I don't know about the rest of the world, but music uplifts and inspires me!

That is why I have a series of home-made CD's called "Believe". (I, II, & III, of course)

I also have an eleven disc set called "Favorites". (Yeah, I like a lot of music!)

The "Believe" series is all uplifting music with positive lyrics. Some of it is on there for its high energy. All of it has to do with encouragement, fighting back and not giving up. Songs like ELO's 'Hold On Tight', Triumph's 'Fight The Good Fight', POD's 'Alive', Fuel's 'Won't Back Down', etc.

The "Favorites" are full of songs that simply have touched my heart. How much I like a song depends on how much it makes me feel - whether that be angry, sad, excited, whatever. And my 'Favorites' is a really big assortment - everything from Pink Floyd to Jean-Michel Jarre to Orgy to the Outfield to Enya!

The first song on disc #1 of both series has been my favorite for 24 years. That probably won't ever change, either. It's fast paced with a great message - a wake up call if you like.

And I'd like to end with some of the lyrics.

(Chorus)
Stand up on your feet
Life is short as hell
You could be dead tomorrow
Today could be your last chance
To believe in yourself
Your last chance
Tto yell
Your last chance
To be good to yourself
Your last chance
To drink from life's well
- "Last Chance" by Shooting Star

Comes down to self-image

I read an article recently regarding attractive people and their higher than average incomes.

Through studies, they showed that an attractive person makes 5% more than average while ugly people make 7% less than average. (They based this on attractiveness, weight and height.) One of two possibilities for this discrepancy focused on bias & discrimination - and how they could eliminate this among employees. The other possibility seemed far more viable, though.

Attractive people tend to have better self-images.

This, in turn, leads to more confidence when dealing with others and better people skills.

And while this does not always hold true, as there are many good looking people with low self images, I believe it contributes far more than most people realize.

As a person of average looks, I was plagued with being short. Really short. And while a thousand other things were also responsible for my low self-image as a kid, being shorter than everyone else really didn't help. So I can understand why someone of below average looks or who is overweight might struggle with confidence.

Everyone should always try to look their best, especially if weight is the problem, because then we're talking health and living longer. But the truth is, God sees everyone as a wonderful, perfect creature - and we all need to learn to see that in ourselves.

That would do far more to close that wage gap than a thousand discrimination lawsuits!


God's portrait of you reveals that He sees you as lovable, valued and competent.
- Josh McDowell

Opportunities

Small things still matter.

And opportunities come to those who leave the door open.

I recently sent a thank you letter. It was to a gentleman who probably had no idea I was in the audience at the event he spoke at, but I wanted to thank him for his time and effort. After all of the appearances I have done with my novels, I understand that a thank you can go a long way.

Obviously, it did.

I received a reply from him, and he did indeed remember me. His message also left an invitation to a greater opportunity for me as a writer. That was totally unexpected!

How many people would have missed an opportunity like this?

If only more people knew the art of the compliment!


I can live for two months on one good compliment. - Mark Twain

Roller Coasters

I love roller coasters. They're a favorite pasttime of mine!

Some people don't like coasters, and I think they are really missing out. On more than just a great ride, too.

Experts say there is a distinct personality trait in people who love roller coasters and call it the "thrill factor". The fear that comes from being out of control does not paralyze but exhilarates them. It awakens all their senses. And after they've survived the intense journey once, they want to do it again.

I think most of life's situations are similar. The things that appear the most frightening will in fact become the most enjoyable once we've attempted them. It's taking that first step.

Most people are afraid to risk, afraid of losing what they already possess. But the tighter you hold on, the less you will have! Like the man in the Bible with the Talents - it's use it or lose it!

Like I said, I love roller coasters. And I will never stop riding.

What about you?


To feel alive, one must take risks.

Friends

Want a quick test to discover who your friends are?

Do something radically different, a positive step forward, something none of your friends are currently attempting.

You'll find out who your friends truly are then.

True friends will support you. They will recognize your efforts and be excited.

The ones who don't? Well, did you really want a friend like that, anyway?

Cherish the good ones!


A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. - Walter Winchell

Submission

Just a quick word on submission, because sometimes it really amuses me to watch other couples.

God did design the woman to submit to the man. And this is not a bad thing! He in turn must protect & provide for her. A fair trade off.

That's why men do not respond well to women who try to control them. Just a natural instinct.

But praise gets anyone faster results than criticism. Honey catches more flies. That's also a fact of life.

And a good one to live by.

A man will respond positively to compliments, acceptance, and apporval. He will respond negatively to nagging, controlling, and manipulating. - Gary Smalley

Quality time

Once in a while, I have to be reminded about quality time.

It's easy to get caught up in the pursuit of a goal and almost be consumed by it. Focus is good. Eliminating distractions is good. Letting it come before family & God - not good!

I do enjoy quality time. It leads to doing fun, dumb stuff. It leads to meaningful conversation. However, it is not my primary love language - it's my husband's. Mine is words of afirmation & physical touch. Which I think is pretty easy, myself! Tell me you love me and give me a hug. How hard is that? Well, probably about as hard as scheduling quality time together.

I'm working on it, though!

One of the by-products of quality activities is that they provide a memory bank from which to draw in the years ahead. - Gary Chapman, "The Five Love Languages"

The Journey

Today, I had the most unique experience.

I conversed with a large number of people about something I feel very passionately about and it was a most fortunate, incredible experience! (I actually got to do it twice!)

And it really made me think about my goals and the road I have taken to achieve them. I realized a long time ago that it is not the destiny that is the success, but the journey. And today was one of those days that I felt blessed to be on the path I have set. There are so many things I would never have encountered, so many people I would not have had the pleasure to know, had I not set set off for my destination. My goal is to enrich the lives of others, and yet I find that this quest has done even more for me. The rewards have been countless and I cannot wait to see what lies around the next bend!

True happiness & peace can only come when one chases a dream!


Success is determined not by what you get for reaching your destination, but by what you become by reaching it. - Zig Ziglar