Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Out on a breaking limb

This post is outside the norm.

J. Kaye and Arlee Bird gave me the Versatile Blogger award last week and I still need to share seven things about myself.

I’m going out on a limb with this one.

Everyone’s so positive when blogging, presenting themselves in the best possible light. After reading so many posts lately on writing, publishing, promoting, etc., everyone appears to be an expert, too! Everyone’s got great aspirations or just landed a big contract or they’ve a thousand followers…

So Spunky’s just gonna be real.

Seven things:

1. I can’t keep up with the online stuff. It feels as if my life revolves around access to the internet, and I still can’t keep up. I feel bad I can’t visit all the bloggers who follow me…

2. I’ve lost the drive to write, which is not good, as I’ve a deadline looming. But my current project, while a good career move, doesn’t excite me and the research is overwhelming. I feel as if I’ve taken on something that is way over my head.

3. My speaking gigs are steady but not growing. I’ve not done what I need to do in that area.

4. Despite a fantastic day at Quarter Moon Books last Friday, I’m bummed about book sales. Book V was the best reviewed and the best thing I’ve ever written, and yet… Meh. Probably won’t write another fiction piece again.

5. I hardly take photos anymore and I’ve turned down several wedding and portrait gigs this year. Not inspired there, either. My Deviant Art friends probably think I’ve died.

6. And just so you don’t think Spunky’s totally in the dumps, everything else in life is going well - still happily married, finances great, we’re healthy, etc.

7. I just need to find time to energize and reinvent myself. But what to let go… and would anyone even notice?

48 comments:

welcome to my world of poetry said...

First Contrats on the awards well deserved.
If you let blogging go I am one hundred percent positive you will be sorely missed.

Yvonne.

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

I feel like that plenty. But don't give things up. Just put them on the backburner for a while. You might be enthused about them further down the line. :o( sorry you're feeling crappy ...

Will Burke said...

Sorry you're in such a funk, but SOAS would be missed! I don't get enough time reading/commenting time either, and miss it!

Mason Canyon said...

Congratulations on the award, well deserved. You would definitely be missed in this blogsphere, but sometimes a little down time is what it takes to find that inspiration again. You'll be back on track in no time.

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Mary said...

I agree with Mason. Everyone needs a little down time.
We would very much miss you but would look forward to your return.
Write something you enjoy on the side each day for a while and maybe everything will blossom.

Mary
Giggles and Guns

Vicki Rocho said...

I think we're all feeling the stress of trying to keep up with the blogs (both writing and visiting others). Maybe take a break (a week or so) and see if that helps you get things re-aligned?

Simon Hay Soul Healer said...

I've been thinking about the same things lately. I like that you're keeping it real. I'm wondering how sincere all the nice stuff is online. I tend to not say anything if I've not anything nice to say, to others and about myself. We could start the let's keep it real movement.

Regards your writing and everything else, I hope you find your mojo. Sometimes we need some down time. I don't stress if I can't keep up online, and I'm sure I'm going to get busier. Online is not life. I think everyone trys to be sincere, but online relationships aren't always the real deal.

When we bump into each other in an airport and have coffee, then it's real. Take care of yourself, recharge, and I'll send some love and healing your way.

Susanne Drazic said...

Diane, thanks for sharing the real things about writing life. We all go through this stuff, but aren't always willing to admit it. Give yourself some down time to recharge or at least cut back on some things. You would definitely be missed if you completely gave up on some things, but you have to do what is right for you.

Mike Douglas said...

There's a lot here I can relate to. Heck, everybody hits the wall from time to time, and I'm surprised it hasn't happened to you sooner what with that crazy schedule of yours. Hang in there Diane - you'll get your rhythm back.

Karen Walker said...

Dearest Diane,
No one can possibly keep up with the internet. It's impossible. Perhaps you need a few days away from everything, just you, or just you and hubby, where you can get clear once again about priorities and intentions. Don't let expectations or disappointments about book sales color your feelings about you and your work. Because we absolutely cannot control these things, no matter how well we write and promote. Please take care of yourself. You are very precious and very needed here in bloggydom.
Karen

Alissa said...

I hope you do get re-energized, and if it helps I can relate. For me, I feel like I am trying to do too much, and I just need to focus on some things.

Rayna M. Iyer said...

Would knowing that you have friends in bloggydom who are reaching out to you with a virtual hug make you feel any better? And knowing that you are loved by people who know and understand YOU, whether you are currently writing or not?

Everyone has downtimes. This seems to be yours. You are actually such a positive person, you will overcome.

*hugs*

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Thank you everyone. It's been a bit of a downward spiral for the last two months. In trying to keep up with everything, I've stagnated.
Simon, that's truer than you know!
Mike, you've watched me do this for a long time! Guess I was just using a really big candle.
Karen and Rayna - thanks and I'm gonna go cry now.

Helen Ginger said...

Sounds like you need a break. Decide what is your biggest time suck that gives you the least joy and drop it, either permanently or for a while.

People would notice, but it sounds like your concern needs to be not with "people" but with yourself. set aside a time for yourself. Even if it's just thirty minutes a day for you to rejuvenate.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, just a cyber friend.

Mr. Stupid said...

Congrats on the award. You deserved it.
We all did notice. Please don't let your Blog go. You'll be missed. Maybe, you should take some time off. How about spend a day or two doing something you enjoy other than blogging. I'm sure it will work out.
Have a great day...:)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

With such detailed blog posts and so many followers and I know you're online elsewhere - I don't know how you do it. Take a break.

Clarissa Draper said...

We won't hate you if you have to take a break. I did and I'm back full force. Sometimes our brains need down time especially from the constant voices writing creates. They keep repeating the same thing and eventually I tell them to shut up. When they do, I find them more interesting when they poke their heads in my door after a hiatus and say, "hey, can we talk now?"

CD

Michele Emrath said...

First of all: WE'D notice if you disappeared.

Second of all: There is nothing wrong with reinvention. You seem to be a woman of multiple talents, which gives you an edge in the changing paths universe.

Third: I don't know if it will help, but we all go through this. You are facing some serious doldrums, but you WILL get through this. I have recommended your books to several friends, and will continue to do so. The right combination will click soon!

Fourth: Never say never. Surely you know this, you Motivational Speaker Queen!

Fifth: (Yes, I have five things to say!) My husband sets up speeches for different events, so send your info to me and I'll pass it on to him. Do you mind coming to Raleigh for things?

Alright. Blog-friend love to you!

(Oh, and Six: If you think you're down and out, remember, I just quit blogging for nearly two weeks, and I still don't have a complete MS. You're way ahead of most of us!)

Michele
SouthernCityMysteries

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Helen, and I appreciate my cyber friend!

Michele, you are awesome! Yes, Spunky needs to reread her own book.
And Raleigh? Wow, that would be so close - LOL! Michele, I'd love to!!!!

Elliot Grace said...

...possibly the doldrums of Summer clenching with a firm grip. Hang in there. You'll find your groove again:)

But if a break is necessary, it won't be held against you.

E.

Tamara Narayan said...

Hey Diane,

Pick what you like and focus on that, but please, please don't stop the Sunday funnies! Just kidding. When the poop hits the fan, blogging is the first thing to go for me. Even with a tiny following, I can't get to everyone's blog every day.

Talli Roland said...

Oh, I hear you. Especially with the internet thing. But we *would* notice if you let us go... so please don't!

Give yourself some mental time and space and I'm sure yo'll be funk-free in no time.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Thanks Elliot and Talli!

And don't worry, Tamara - the Sunday Sillies WILL go on!

Donna M. McDine said...

Re-evaluating all you do is essential. I felt these very same ways a few months ago and once I re-evaluated I felt much better!

Watery Tart said...

Sounds to me like you need a vacation! Sorry you feel like your mojo has waned and things aren't exciting you. I really hope it comes back!

Would chocolate help? I find chocolate often helps...

Anonymous said...

Yes, agree with the vacation comment. A few years back I re-evaluated what I was doing because I had reached a similar point. I was doing all the things I was told would help with self-promoting, but it had become work.

Now, I do everything in my power to only say yes to the things that seem fun to me. Of course, doing my laundry is not one of those fun tasks, but still has to be done.

But when it comes to promoting my books or speaking business, I am very selective about what I do. And it worked. I moved from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated to having lots more fun! Allyn

Riv Re said...

As much as we are meaningless text with few faces, we're here to help you through your funk :)
(And I hope that at least put a flicker of a smile on your face)

TerryLynnJohnson said...

just take a break! do something different! it will snap you out of it and recharge your creative juices!

Connie Arnold said...

Congratulations on your award! Sorry you are going through a down period. Sometimes it's necessary to take a break, spend more time with loved ones, get out from under pressure and be renewed. Hope you find your joy and inspiration again soon!

Kitten said...

If there's anyone who knows what it's like to feel overwhelmed, it's me. I have a co-worker who keeps reminding me to "do what's good for me." I tend to put others' needs above mine a lot, and forget to take the downtime that I need. So, if you need time off, take it. We'd understand! I know I would!

Jemi Fraser said...

You had such a busy stretch there for a couple of months I'm not surprised you're a bit tuckered out and down. You contribute so much in so many different directions, you've got to take care of yourself too. Take your time before making any big decisions! You're a big part of my blogging experience and I think you're amazing.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Tart, if I only ate chocolate...

Allyn, I'd rather dump the laundry, too! But I am ready to have fun again.

Thanks, Riv!

Thanks, Kitten. I know you've taken breaks and survived. I will, too.

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I can certainly identify with what you listed – particularly 1 and 2. I suggest a week or two vacation from everything – and yes, you would be missed.

DL Hammons said...

I wholeheartedly agree with everyone above...you would be missed! Re-charging your batteries is the key, but how you go about that is personal. I'm behind you 100% in whatever you decide.

DL Hammons said...

I wholeheartedly agree with everyone above...you would be missed! Re-charging your batteries is the key, but how you go about that is personal. I'm behind you 100% in whatever you decide.

Creative Chronicler said...

Congrats on the awards. You deserve them.

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time with writing, blogging, etc. I understand where you are at. Sometimes we all go through a faze of being overwhelmed by our internet lives and trying to balance that with our real world lives and still being motivated to do it all well. That's why I had to take a break from it and now I'm only posting once or twice a week. I'd miss everyone too much to stop all together but it gives me a little more balance. You should try that. And go find a big roller coaster and let loose.

Carolyn Howard-Johnson said...

I'd notice, Diane. I've long admired your energy. Having said that, it is important to put our energy into what gives back--at least eventually. Having said THAT, I've seen so many authors quit a promotion campaign (or quite writing!) just before (in my opinion!) the world was about to notice. So....take good care of yourself. We're all here for you, whatever you do.
Best,
Carolyn

arlee bird said...

I see you're in good company from the preceding comments. I feel that bogged down overwhelmed feeling of late which is why I want to streamline some of my blogging activity. And you're already so darn busy. Not to mention the heat and humidity I keep hearing about back East-- that's enough to slow anyone down and feel a bit lethargic. Hang in there.

Lee
Tossing It Out

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Thanks everyone. And I know it's the death keel to quit, but a week off is probably what I need.

Crystal Clear Proofing said...

Oh I've been there and am still kind of crawling my way out of a big-time burnout. Health and other issues haven't helped. The only thing I seem to still really love doing is editing...

Jai Joshi said...

Hey Diane!

Sorry I haven't been around much. It's so hard to cope with cyber cafes! Everytime I try to log on to comment on my friend's blogs the system crashes or some other disaster happens and then all my time gets used up dealing with that.

Congratulations on your Versatile Blogger award and hopefully I'll be able to catch up on some of your other recent posts!

Jai

Stephen Tremp said...

Regardless of how well things are going, you have to reinvent yourself from time to time. Keep things fresh. Stay out of a rut. Do something out of the norm. And have fun doing it.

Stephen Tremp

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Jai, sorry you've had so many issues!

Creepy Query Girl said...

awe- sounds like you're in a slump! You need to do whats right for you and I hope that you and your current wip can reignite the flame! Go out on a date with your wip- put the research aside and just enjoy eachother. Write things just for fun that you don't intent to put in there just to get back into it. And don't give up on fiction if you've got a love for it! If you need a break from the blogosphere, we'll all be here for you no matter what girl!

Jan Morrison said...

Dear Woman, yes we would miss you and that is so beyond the point! Like so many others I counsel a break for you. Everyone in real life and in blogging life retreats from time to time to figure out what is important or to just lie fallow for a bit. You won't be letting us down - I imagine that others, like me, feel relief that you are saying what all of us feel at one time or another. I think it is like the part of labour where we aren't to push - transition. You are doing things out of duty and distraction when it is not neccesary. Take some time, don't push the process, let it all settle down to a manageable hum in your mind and then really listen to what you want. I send you all kinds of love as it appears does everyone else.

Stephanie Thornton said...

I feel your pain- really. I think we writers are spread a little thin no matter what we do. When I feel that way, I do what I love the most- write, paint, garden, hang out with my family- and let the rest slide a bit.

StephTheBookworm said...

Oh my goodness. I am so sad to hear that you are feeling down. I think you are wonderful and awesome, and I am honored and thrilled to have met you this year through blogging. You are kind, smart and encouraging. You are a great friend, and a talented writer, and I absolutely adored Book V and I am still very much dying to read the others. But I do know what you're going through, and I know you'll get through it, I just hate to see you feeling low. Smile and cheer up, friend. I know you've heard it all, but thought I'd throw my two cents in there too, just so you know you have lots of friends who care. :)

Palindrome said...

Yes your absence would be noticed!!

But you do what's good for you! Writing is what most of us are here for so anything that takes the time and the joy away from that should be reassessed. :)

Good luck!!