tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post7023458350384158226..comments2024-03-24T20:54:42.846-04:00Comments on Spunk On A Stick's Tips: Writing the Childless CoupleL. Diane Wolfehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06425864276166334896noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-1442416458138195852011-10-02T16:01:24.653-04:002011-10-02T16:01:24.653-04:00I haven't written that into any of my stories ...I haven't written that into any of my stories yet. Personally, I'd be in the same category as you. I wasn't planning on having kids. But I'm happy to know my husband's two girls. So step kids live part time with us. That's another scenario I guess.TerryLynnJohnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08380207155608982319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-21227251943192318982011-09-28T11:26:40.065-04:002011-09-28T11:26:40.065-04:00Our kids our grown and gone so our house is childl...Our kids our grown and gone so our house is childless these days (and mighty quiet). A childless couple can offer a lot of opportunity for writing certain types of stories, especially involving action and danger or a lot of travel and high life. Kids can add the dynamics of family and the stress and protectiveness that can come with having kids. The situation can depend a lot upon the type of story one wants to tell.<br /><br /><br />Lee<br /><a href="http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Tossing It Out</a>Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-65176366623884508702011-09-27T18:35:55.605-04:002011-09-27T18:35:55.605-04:00Sia, I didn't even have the desire for nieces ...Sia, I didn't even have the desire for nieces or nephews!<br /><br />Tamara, and I've always known I didn't want kids.<br /><br />Yvonne, fortunately both of our parents understood and never asked - it was the rest of our family and some friends that just didn't get it.<br /><br />Lyn, glad it gave you ideas. And it's nice to hear there are others of us out there.<br /><br />Um Stephen - this isn't about kids in books.<br /><br />Mary, I'm glad I gave you some ideas.<br /><br />Dorte, no she doesn't.L. Diane Wolfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06425864276166334896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-35022142148204641292011-09-27T14:55:08.090-04:002011-09-27T14:55:08.090-04:00As many couples struggle to have kids but cannot, ...As many couples struggle to have kids but cannot, I´d never ask that question unless close friends wanted to talk about it. <br /><br />You could say it is part of one of my works in progress as the woman has a spontaneous abortion only to realize her husband is relieved. I can assure you *she* doesn´t want any stupid questions.Dorte Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14535044092722418173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-82663138971447468542011-09-27T13:38:39.340-04:002011-09-27T13:38:39.340-04:00Duh! Where have I been? I know at least one couple...Duh! Where have I been? I know at least one couple who fits every one of these scenarios and yet have never thought to use them. Thanks.Mary@GigglesandGunshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07350818228268801008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-26206404873770236602011-09-27T10:10:48.476-04:002011-09-27T10:10:48.476-04:00You've done a nice job of laying out some writ...You've done a nice job of laying out some writing options regarding childless couples. I think, in reality, questioning someone on such a personal matter is beyond rude.LD Mastersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01202135756299574972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-27230010382719960782011-09-27T09:49:53.990-04:002011-09-27T09:49:53.990-04:00I do know some couples without kids. A few in part...I do know some couples without kids. A few in particular who have struggled to have them, but can't.<br /><br />It's for this very reason that I NEVER ask why a couple doesn't have kids. It's judgmental, makes them very uncomfortable, and frankly is none of my business. Sorry, I've got some opinions on this one.<br /><br />But you're right that it's important to know how to write properly about people who don't as well.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12399082789777816445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-80673213275117143572011-09-27T09:48:55.508-04:002011-09-27T09:48:55.508-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12399082789777816445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-4288616320533979242011-09-27T09:02:48.036-04:002011-09-27T09:02:48.036-04:00I leave kids out of my books. I certainly will not...I leave kids out of my books. I certainly will not abuse kids to make the bad guy badder. I hate it when authors do this. If I ever use kids as characters, I'll not do anything sick or twisted with them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-59387139563361917772011-09-27T07:53:09.976-04:002011-09-27T07:53:09.976-04:00I like the way you listed them, it gave me a clear...I like the way you listed them, it gave me a clearer picture with that statement. I think I have asked people if they have children as a way of warming up a conversation and getting to know each other better.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02399300464457820101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-74655061107781695402011-09-27T07:52:34.922-04:002011-09-27T07:52:34.922-04:00I like the way you listed them, it gave me a clear...I like the way you listed them, it gave me a clearer picture with that statement. I think I have asked people if they have children as a way of warming up a conversation and getting to know each other better.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02399300464457820101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-24635079464421951102011-09-26T23:51:12.997-04:002011-09-26T23:51:12.997-04:00I've known lots of couples who don't have ...I've known lots of couples who don't have children and they fit many of the different scenarios you've listed, and there are some that I don't know why they never had children because I didn't ask. I always wanted a big family, and if I was unable to have children, it would have been quite heartbreaking, so I try to be sensitive about that issue. <br /><br />I actually know quite a few couples who never had kids by choice and seem perfectly fine with their decision. With others, I sense that there are regrets, but it's not my place to pry. <br /><br />I think this is a great idea to add childless characters into some of my stories. Thanks for pointing this out. I'll definitely keep this in mind!LynNerdKelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04167392990015741278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-56038211799171015652011-09-26T22:29:58.374-04:002011-09-26T22:29:58.374-04:00Hmmm, I write both childless couples and single pa...Hmmm, I write both childless couples and single parents finding their love. this is a great list. It gives solid motivation for reaction and action in a story. Thanks for posting. Cheers~Nancy J. Parrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10107417252662717576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-44861165924509509252011-09-26T21:55:15.998-04:002011-09-26T21:55:15.998-04:00I have real life friends who don't have childr...I have real life friends who don't have children, some by choice and some because they can't. I've included childless couples in some of my books. I think having friends who are quite content and fulfilled with children has helped me write it realistically.Susan Gourley/Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02669793865290876168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-28885634386683764262011-09-26T21:16:43.632-04:002011-09-26T21:16:43.632-04:00I always find it so bizarre that some people feel ...I always find it so bizarre that some people feel they have the right to ask such personal questions!! <br /><br />You've done a great job of laying out all the options - lots of potential for conflict and plot problems here! :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-62027300010891231322011-09-26T16:55:57.112-04:002011-09-26T16:55:57.112-04:00I had IVF and I'm very open about it, in spite...I had IVF and I'm very open about it, in spite of the fact that some people think I shouldn't be. It doesn't bother me if people ask, but I'd never ask anyone if they had kids. That way lies a potential emotional minefield.<br /><br />My wip has a couple who, after having a miscarriage early on, never manage to have any children. It's been a tough subject.Sarah Tokeleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13273148070092101085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-78243266544035342732011-09-26T16:37:45.092-04:002011-09-26T16:37:45.092-04:00Having or not having children was never really dis...Having or not having children was never really discussed so they came along when nature intended. I wouldn't have missed out on being a mother though at this present time I have wondered "Why"?<br />I think it is up to the individual couples whether to have or not have children and not to take notice of the prospective grandparents asking the inevitaable question "When"?<br /><br />Good issues raised.<br />Yvonne.RHYTHM AND RHYMEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11386975261804630799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-58907365526615071092011-09-26T14:54:51.651-04:002011-09-26T14:54:51.651-04:00I know several couples who don't have kids and...I know several couples who don't have kids and it is by choice. I figure the decision to have kids or not have kids is up to each couple. No one should make them feel guilty for their decisions. I wanted to have several children, but was only blessed with one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-10388904503261710982011-09-26T12:12:39.080-04:002011-09-26T12:12:39.080-04:00I can't imagine asking someone why they don...I can't imagine asking someone why they don't have children because of all these personal possibilities. I've always pictured myself as a mother because my mother was so darn awesome I wanted to be like her. But now that I am a mother, I feel the whole range of emotions from crazy-love to I'm-going-to-kill-you-if-you-don't-stop-whining. Both of my daughters (age 5 and 7) asked me if it was okay if they didn't have kids (I think the idea of giving birth has freaked them out) and I said, "Yes!".<br /><br />I do know some women who have chosen not to have children and not to marry. Someday I will write a character like this.Tamara Narayanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03725262301091012950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-1711577150056309512011-09-26T11:48:29.924-04:002011-09-26T11:48:29.924-04:00It's not something I've written much about...It's not something I've written much about. <br /><br />I've known many couples who have chosen to be childless and its a personal choice. Many are also the best aunts and uncles. They get their kid fix with family, offer some wonderful advantages to their nephews and nieces they might not otherwise have. <br /><br />It never bothered me to have people ask if I had children. *shrugs. But in writing, it's something that would provoke an emotional response.<br /><br />I always wanted children and was one who had difficulty carrying. But I'm not one to sit around going oh woe is me, instead my husband and I did many things during the almost 20 years of kidless time.I poured my energies into career, helping others, travel and lot fun and satisfying things. I had younger siblings and a niece and nephew (who lived nearby) to spoil and take places. I was content.<br /><br />I can tell you when I was able to have my son, I was ecstatic. Truly, he is one of my greatest blessings. If I could have, I would have had a second child. But it wasn't to be. I'm fine with that. I still have family to hug on and my favorite niece--she's like my own daughter and my son's big sissy--has two babies I can spoil and send back home. lolol!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.siamckye.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">Sia McKye's Thoughts...OVER COFFEE</a>~Sia McKye~https://www.blogger.com/profile/08470562659597351033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-51598988684483955452011-09-26T10:37:41.438-04:002011-09-26T10:37:41.438-04:00Holly, I decided when I was thirteen I never wante...Holly, I decided when I was thirteen I never wanted kids. And it shouldn't be a standard question, because when someone says no, there's this awkward feeling from the other person of 'Why not?'L. Diane Wolfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06425864276166334896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-58442426675686329922011-09-26T10:01:53.232-04:002011-09-26T10:01:53.232-04:00I wanted to add that I think it should not be a st...I wanted to add that I think it should not be a standard "getting to know you question" because more and more people are choosing not to have kids.Southpawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539290964546504171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-66462434655647085392011-09-26T09:58:55.900-04:002011-09-26T09:58:55.900-04:00A friend of mine decided when she was fairly young...A friend of mine decided when she was fairly young that she didn't want to have children. It had to do with her family (parents and siblings) having lots of problems.Southpawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539290964546504171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-54362720525764902722011-09-26T08:38:10.766-04:002011-09-26T08:38:10.766-04:00I have several friends who don't have children...I have several friends who don't have children by choice and several more who don't have children but wish they did. You're right, no matter what the reason, it's always a tricky subject.Johanna Garthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15515478890074610814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11634512.post-19726777652963111002011-09-26T08:12:09.433-04:002011-09-26T08:12:09.433-04:00I do no several real life couples who have no chil...I do no several real life couples who have no children. Some by choice, others by fate. Some are happy with their decision, some exceedingly sad.<br /><br />I wasn't going to have a child myself, worked on my career until I was 42 and then for some crazy reason my biological clock was ticking loudly and I decided to do it. Yes, the old fashioned way, found a man who I thought was good, but turned out to be not-so-much. But I don't regret my choice of being a single parent. She's the best thing that could have happened to me.<br /><br />As far as writing them, I don't think I ever have. Perhaps some day I shall explore that idea. Thanks Diane.Anne Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05816355522284492131noreply@blogger.com